Jürgen Vsych (pronounced “Vy-zick”) must be the best-kept
secret in independent films. The writer-director-producer of the cult
film, “Ophelia Learns to Swim,” and 29 short films is the first
American woman director - and only the third woman director ever - to
write her autobiography. “The Woman Director: The Adventures of a
Really Independent Filmmaker Ages 6-36,” is an epic tale of how Vsych
made 30 films on shoestring budgets, under often nightmarish
circumstances and against major parental objections. The book is an
insider’s journey through the triumphs and tragedies of filmmaking for
the love of the art, rather than for the love of the money.
Vsych will discuss her book and show clips from her films at
Black Oak Books in Berkeley on Tuesday February 28th at 7:30pm.
With 54 photos and illustrations by the author and written in
the rarely-used present tense, Vsych’s memoir puts the reader in the
roller coaster alongside this woman director. Vsych edited 17,256 pages
of diaries into 226 fast-paced pages that read like a Jane Austin novel
rather than a typical Hollywood kiss-and-tell. Vsych is a female
Don Quixote, jousting with and jutting at the windmills of Hollywood;
part gambler, part gladiatress. Bringing to her story the same
combination of sharp social commentary and comedy as found in her
films, “The Woman Director” is a must for film buffs and students,
young entrepreneurs, and any girl who aspires to succeed in a
male-dominated profession.
Vsych’s life has been “make money, make a film, repeat.” She
started shooting footage with her grandmother’s Super-8 camera when she
was four. She made her first short film at age 6, and spent the next
thirty years working her way up to 16mm and 35mm. Vsych’s first
international hit was 1992’s “Pay Your Rent, Beethoven,” a 5-minute
silent comedy made in Scotland and financed by The Prince Charles
Trust. It was followed by her first 35mm film, “Son for Sail,” about an
18-year slacker who is forced to get a job when his father presents him
with a bill for $227,215 - the amount his father has calculated it’s
cost to support him since birth. Vsych also has the distinction of
being “the least famous person” to have their diary included in the
book, “World Cinema: Diary of A Day.”
“When I was a kid, I always wanted to read a memoir of a female
film director, so I could learn about their experiences. The only
memoir was by Alice Guy Blache of the French silent era, a very short
book written at the end of her life. Leni Riefenstahl, likewise, didn’t
write hers until 1993. I was tired of waiting for someone to write one
in mid-career, and I figured, ‘Well, I guess it’s going to be me.’ My
book was rejected by every major publishing house; they scoffed,
‘You’re not famous!’ Too many women died without ever getting around to
writing about their experiences - that’s a lot of lessons lost and
history buried. The best way to learn is by reading about the mistakes
of others. At the very least, I felt the book would have value as a
‘Kids, Don’t Do This!’ manual.”
Despite her vast experience, getting publicity is difficult. “I
called up the Los Angeles Times and they said, ‘We already did a story
about a woman director this month,’ like we were over our quota. They
do a story every other day about the latest new hot boy director.
Unless you pose for a sexy photo or are the daughter of a famous
director, forget it.”
Vsych was born in Hollywood, but never went Hollywood. “I didn’t
even consider going the studio route. I didn’t want to get stuck in the
typing pool, wasting time wistfully hoping someone would give me a
chance. I decided to stay outside the system and actually make films.”
Although she never went to film school, her films are far more
technically accomplished than any film graduate. “The best film school
is spending your own hard-earned cash. When you make a mistake using
your own money, you learn fast. The upshot is I can get a lot of bang
for the buck. ‘Ophelia Learns to Swim’ was four and a half times longer
than ‘Son for Sail,’ had four times as many location, a cast five times
bigger, and it was shot seven inflationary years later - and yet, it
only cost twice as much. If I get the two million I want for my next
feature, it should rival any studio’s $30 film.”
MONEY MAKES THE FILM GO AROUND
Vsych was offered several features, “all incredibly sexist
films. I guess they figured if they got a woman to direct it, the press
couldn’t attack the film - ‘oh, a woman’s behind it!” In 1999, tired of
waiting for a break, she recalled her meeting Spike Lee in 1987. When
Vsych told him her dream was to get assigned to direct a decent
feature, Lee told her, “Girl, you gotta make your OWN film! NO ONE’S
gonna LET YOU - you gotta do it YOURSELF!” Inspired by Lee’s words,
Vsych poured her life savings and credit cards into her feature debut,
“Ophelia Learns to Swim,” a comedy about a wimpy girl who turns
Superheroine in order to fight corporate villains Virginia Svelte,
Cosmetic Chick and The Doucher. The film was set to premiere at the
Temecula Valley International Film Festival. Three days before her
screening, terrorists bombed the World Trade Center. “Every film that
was released that week had a weird stigma, like we planned it! No one
in Hollywood would even watch my film. But I’m proud of it - it has
good acting and a very good script, and it’s having a good DVD release.”
If premiering right after 9/11 wasn’t enough, like other
independent filmmakers, Vsych has been hit hard by film piracy. “My
films are highly pirated in Asia. I get lots of fan mail from
Cambodia.” Vsych must rely on sponsorships, accepting donations only
from environmentally friendly companies whose products she actually
uses (such as Luna Bars, Seventh Generation recycled paper products,
and Aubrey Organics). She also has patrons. “I have all different
levels, from $2,000 The Prince Lichnowsky [Beethoven and Mozart’s
patron] Chamber Group, to the $50 Ed Wood level.” (Vsych’s website is
TheWomanDirector.com).
Because a crusading presidential candidate needs a crusading
director, Ralph Nader hired Vsych to be his 2004 campaign videographer.
Vsych wrote and directed the comedy, “Ralph Nader Crashes the Two
Parties,” a mock debate with Nader taking on bumbling Bush and waffling
Kerry. Since they declined to debate the eloquent, antiwar Nader, Vsych
took Bush and Kerry’s dialogue from the official presidential debates,
played it back on speakers, and had Nader respond. For a visual touch,
she had a special effects artist sculpt realistic Bush and Kerry heads,
which she attached to GI Joe bodies. Vsych has written a book about
working on Nader’s campaign, tentatively titled “What Was Ralph Nader
Thinking? How Ralph tried to Save the World by Running for President
and How I Tried, tried to Help Him,” and is currently writing a film
trilogy about Nader’s career, “much more action-packed and funnier than
‘Lord of The Rings’ - a wee guy with hairy feet racing through the
forest just to toss a ring into a volcano spread out over nine hours?
Wouldn’t you rather see a big guy in combat boots taking on General
Motors, Congress and The President of the United States in under six
hours?”
To finance her films, for a two hours each night, Vsych is one
the world’s few female professional bagpipers, playing on street
corners and for weddings, funerals, and parties. “I’m the only person
on earth whose day job is being a musician. My favorite spot is the
corner of Shattuck and Vine. I get the Cheese Board crowds, and Black
Oak Books patrons - so having my first book signing at Black Oaks is
very appropriate.”
Vsych excuses herself to answer her cell phone - “It’s funeral
season.” A woman wants to know if Vsych knows any “real” pipers,
meaning male pipers. Vsych has obviously heard this before - she grins
to the reporter, and then asks the befuddled woman, “Can MEN play
pipes? They DO? You’re kidding!” Alas, Vsych doesn’t get the gig. “It’s
the same with films - ‘Men direct films? Poor dears, I don’t know how
they do it! They don’t have half our energy, their eyesight and hearing
isn’t as good as ours...’ The studio executives don’t get it. They used
to kill any discussion of hiring a woman director by saying, ‘Films by
women don’t make money!’ But over the years, we’ve had ‘The Piano,’
‘Whale Rider,’ ‘A League of Their Own,’ ‘Lost in Translation,’
‘Clueless’...hell, ‘Pay Your Rent, Beethoven’ made money! If you want
more films by women filmmakers, buy their films and their books.”
Jürgen Vsych reads from “The
Woman Director” and shows clips from her films at Black Oak Books,
Berkeley on Tuesday February 28 at 7:30pm. Her website is
TheWomanDirector.com.
